skip to main |
skip to sidebar
So that isn't exactly what happened here tonight but it does sound like one of those old "tales" a teacher may hear. Tonight while Alese and I were gone to her dance practice, Arden went in her room and ripped up her homework!! Two pages, 200 lines all RIPPED!!! I told her to tell her teacher "my baby sister ripped up my homework, honest"!!! :) She is 2, have I mentioned she is terrible 2?! :)
"So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, and conservatism, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future."
- Chris McCandless
 |
| A woman on the verge of a nervous breakdown. :) |
Gorilla glue has become a staple item in our house, much like ketcup, milk or bread but I believe the gorilla glue may be more important to us at this stage in our lives, except for the milk, we can't go without milk around here. We need gorilla glue nearly everyday for something or other that Cash or Arden have broken. A steering wheel off a tractor, a picture frame for the tenth time etc... you get the idea. So what does gorilla glue have to do with nervous breakdowns you wonder and I tell you it has a lot to do with it!! I have seen gorilla glue stop the tears and mend the toys dozens of times at our house, sometimes multiple times a day so it has me thinking.......which may or may not be a good thing and since I am perfect and my kids NEVER fight this is just hypothetical. Could gorilla glue put me back together after a nervous breakdown? I have them a few times a day, it works on everything else, could it possible put the pieces of this frazzled, nut job mother back together?! Here is the raw truth of it all: mothers, specifically this one put a lot of pressure on ourselves to have well behaved children, to have a clean house, to have a clean car (hahahahahaha) to have a "real" meal that we prepared from scratch, to bake the cupcakes, to cook for our friends, to arrange perfect play dates, to have our kids clean and dressed cute, to have ourselves, well to just have ourselves clean...this list goes on and on and on.... But what I am finding is that when we "try" to be all these things, to do all these things, are we then being fake people building fake relationships? What the heck is the point of that, I want REAL people in my life that I have built REAL relationships with. I want friends who step over the toys and find a seat and could not care less what my house looks like. Basically this is real "nitty gritty" of Julie.....most days I wake up earlier than the rest of the house so that I can have time to read and pray and BEG Jesus to help me not to have that dreaded nervous breakdown, some days I sleep in, sometimes I clean in circles all day long to the point of not knowing if I am coming or going, I trip over toys, I remember at noon that I in fact have not brushed my teeth yet but I did feed my kids. That has to count for something. Some days my kids love each other so much it makes me cry, some days they fight so bad it makes me cry harder (this is where the dreaded break downs begin). I am so tired most days that by 3 in the afternoon I am mixing up a Spark energy drink to survive the rest of the day. Some days I wash my hair, most days I don't and even more days I don't wear make up. I am living in a poop storm, these are the days of my life, this is the season God has me in. I LOVE it and I hate it at moments but only for a second. I want to be authentic, I don't want to pretend to ANYONE especially another mother who I know is struggling just like me that I have it all together. Any mother who appears to have it all together is secretly having a nervous breakdown too, she just wouldn't dare blog about it! :) Who knew parenting would be so hard, you have to be passionate about it to survive it and you have to trust that these little people we are raising will not remember when you loose your cool and yell but they will remember when you slid into home plate with them in the back yard or how you let them paint your toenails(or should I say feet) or put lip gloss all over your face just because!! Sometimes I do bake the cupcakes and make the icing because I love to do it, sometimes I sew presents for people but I assure you that any time I am doing anything of the sorts, I am loosing my mind because my kids are wrecking the house or I burned supper. I can't do it all I can't be it all, I want to have fun with my kids and if that means that I don't sweep (for a week) then so be it! :) Right now I am just trying to keep my kids from ending up in therapy and well,why I am at it I better go buy some more gorilla glue!
Have I mentioned that Arden is um, she is busy, yes that is it, she is a busy, curious, sassy little girl! :) I adore her but she is a hand full all day long. :)
Today was no exception but we had a fun, memory packed day.
While Cash was at preschool Arden and I made a fast run into the grocery store where she insisted she "needed some grapes". Of course I got them for her and I finally lost the battle of "to eat or not to eat the grapes in the store". I am sure I ate plenty of unwashed fruit in my day so I am hoping she doesn't come down with a serious illness, if she does I am erasing this blog entry! :) We took Cash to the dentist where I spent most of the time chasing Arden up and down the halls. When we were done and I was booking our 6 month appointment Arden and Cash were playing in the waiting room when all of a sudden it got spooky quiet. I immediately grabbed my purse and told the ladies that I knew my children had just went outside and I had to go. When I made it out the front door which was wide open, Cash had Arden pinned down on the top step. He looked up at me and said "Arden ran out the front door mama, I was trying to stop her". Sweet brother!! Wild Arden! It was a funny sight seeing him holding her down like that and you could tell he was waiting for me to come to his rescue.
When we got home we went straight to the back yard because it wasn't to cool to play outside, Cash wanted to play baseball and because of our recent viewing of "The Sandlot" (for the millionth time) he quickly told me "Mama I am gonna be Bennie, you gonna be Smalls and Arden you need to get in the dugout". ha! We played for half an hour or more until I could not move anymore! The boy would get beside himself if I didn't slide into home and let me just tell you, I had a brutal leg workout this weekend with a trainer and I was NOT up for sliding into home!! I was barely up for squatting on the toilet! :)
At some point I decided to take a break in the kitchen and start supper so I left the back door open and the kids in the back yard. This is nothing unusual, they play outside any day the weather is pretty and I am not always out there the entire time. We have a fence although I am not certain how much longer it will detain Arden. Today Cash came in looking for some toys in the living room and after he had been in the house for about 5 minutes I realized I didn't hear Arden in the yard. Let me just add here that ANY time you can NOT hear Arden you better GO LOOK FOR HER!!!! So I did and I found her standing on the potty in the bathroom leaned over the sink. She had put toilet paper in the sink, stopped the drain with the stopper and had the water on full force. In fact when I walked in it was about 1/4 of an inch from overflowing. She had "rolled" Alese's toothbrush in the process. Of course I spanked her (not for the first time today) and of course it broke her heart. After she calmed down from having her heart broke I decided to quickly make a phone call to my "computer guy" because of an issue I was having with my keyboard (one we discovered was because of some little fingers). Arden had gone back to the yard with Cash but within minutes she was standing next to me while I was sitting at the computer, still on the phone, holding a plastic yellow shovel with giant dog poop on it. She proudly told me "I scooped up some poop mama". GROSS! Now I am glad to have some help scooping up poop from the back yard but I am not glad for it to be carried inside my house!! UGH!! I got her focused on something else as I once again approached supper. Just a few short minutes later Cash came in and said "mama, Arden has all your cd's in the yard". Exhaustion! That is what I am feeling all over again, just reliving this. I have found it almost impossible to cook anymore, maybe I should just stop for a few years until she settles down, ha. Thankfully she is now in bed asleep and I get a short break before the madness begins again tomorrow!
On a happy note, at bedtime tonight I was reading Cash's Bible story and he stopped me and said "mama, why did God tell Adam and Eve not to eat that apple, apples are good for you" He listens! :) That makes me a happy mama. We went to Mardi Gras yesterday in the Pass and I will blog about that later, now I am off to rest. Heaven knows I will need it when Arden wakes up.
