Saturday, June 4, 2011


 So many times during the day I feel guilt over things like, I should be playing with him more, I should not be feeding them spagetti-o's for lunch(again), I should be helping him write his name etc etc etc....  Sometimes I feel like I just don't do or give enough.  I mean the enormity of the needs of our kids is nothing we could have ever prepared ourselves for, it is all day long, every 3 minutes it is mama this or mama that....I always wonder am I showing them Jesus, am I taking advantage of teaching moments to tell them about Him.  I try to follow up discipline with "Jesus wants us to obey mama because..." Sometimes you wonder if ANY of it sinks in, he is in fact 4 years old, does he absorb any of this?  Sometimes Cash will sass me to be cute, for example if I tell him if he does something again I will spank him, he may say that he is gonna spank me.  Sometimes he does this in a funny voice and sometimes he does it with a "tone".  I have been talking to him about this and have began to put my foot down with him doing it.  Cute or not now, when he is 13 and doing it, it will not be cute.  So the other night I corrected him for something and he started sassing me but right away he looked up at me and said "Mama, I am sorry I said that like that".  :)  Somethings are sinking in, the hard work showed for that instant, it made not only me smile but it made my heart smile so much that I got tears in my eyes.  Even though those little moments are fewer than I would like, they make me see the results of the hard work of being a mama.  

One day a couple of weeks ago the kids and I were traveling home from the farm and out of nowhere Cash asked me, "Mama, when is Jesus coming back to get us"?  I started telling him that only He knows that and we have to have our hearts ready so we can go home to Heaven with him.  He then followed up with, "how are we going to get up there, how will we get back home"?  When I told him we wouldn't come back home that Heaven would be our new home he didn't seem to like that idea much, he said he wanted to come back home.  After he thought for a minute he asked, "will there be a farm in Heaven and will it be Papa and Gigi's farm, will Papa and Gigi be in Heaven with us"?  Another heart smiling incident.  

May 26 was my Pappy's birthday, for those of you that knew him you know how very close I was to him.  I spent a lot of time with him as a child and as an adult.  He was a special man, there will never be another like him (Praise).  I have told the kids about their Pappy enough that they know his pictures and they know a lot about him.  When I told Cash that it was Pappy's birthday he quickly asked me if we could call him and tell him happy birthday.   When I told him that we couldn't call heaven he asked me why pappy didn't have a phone there!  I told him that you can't call heaven but if we love Jesus and he lives in our hearts that one day we can go to heaven and see all the people we love.  Cash excitedly announced "I LOVE YOU JESUS".  :)



Julie, this is so precious! I can't get over the questions Cash asks! You are doing an amazing job as their mommy I'm sure. They are very blessed children :)

Julie Ard James

Courtney, I read this comment when you posted it back in the summer but just realized I never said thank you! :)