Meltdowns, PMS, and all that it means...

Wow, talk about blowing it before 9 a.m.  I have succeeded at yelling at my children, sighing to myself that they were sucking the life out of me and thanking God that they had school today.  Supermom, huh?  I didn't even feed them breakfast.  :( Of course on the way to school I told them how much I loved them before quickly dumping them in car line and having a meltdown all the way home because I am such a horrible mother!!  I blog about these kinds of things because they are real, this is the season of my life with young children and I KNOW that other mothers are feeling these same things, the overflow of love, guilt etc... all the things that come with the daunting task of being a mother.  Who knew it would be so challenging?  Have I mentioned that before? ha!  


I WISH I had a dollar for all the times I have been told "enjoy this, it will be over before you know it".  What I really want to say to those people that tell me that is "Really? God I hope so". :)  (insert laugh here).  Okay in all seriousness I thoroughly enjoy my babies, my days with them, their contagious smiles and laughs, the way that for the most part they love each other so much, the way they really do NEED me for everything, the way they sing with me, the way they usually take every step I take even if it means that sometimes they trip me.  I LOVE them, adore them miss them when they are not around, they are the reason for my existence but some days like today, I don't get off to a good start. These are also the days that I don't start my day with quiet time to pray for them (and for me).  Cash had a meltdown (which  I would swear by  now he is getting to old for, lol) because he wanted to watch Bob but he didn't want to bring me the remote, he wanted me to come in there.  I am trying to stop doing EVERYTHING when I know that he is capable of doing some things and I am trying to teach him a little bit about motivation (like actually looking for something instead of crying to me that he can't find it) and responsiblity. Trust me, I know how R-I-D-I-C-U-L-O-U-S this seems. :)  I am laughing at my own self, what 4 year old CARES  if what he is looking for is in eye sight, he just wants YOU to come get it.  
I really don't want these days to pass me by to fast, I want to embrace them and for the most part I have been very good about that.  However sometimes when the P(rincess)M(ust)S(cream) syndrome hits, I have a hard time with balance and let's face it, with sanity.  It is a stupid, stupid misconception that we must do it all alone, that we must be supermama's, that we must must must must......STUPID!!!  Our kids are going to grow up with or without us, once it is over it is over and I do not want to wake up with regrets.  I will not remember that one of my couches was covered in folded laundry(hey at least I got it washed) or that their bedrooms look like a war zone or that i fed them spagetti o's for supper, fortunatley they won't either.  What we will remember is that we laid on the couch and watched Bearanstain Bears and did not think of it as wasted time, that I stopped what I was doing and pushed them on the swing.  I will never have this day with my children again, it is a gift  I want to enjoy this day.  Thankfully since they are at school :)  I have been able to come home, breathe, speak to the Lord about my ignorance and ask him to fill me up so that I can be as gracious to these brain cell sucking little people as HE has been to  me.   Whew, thank you sweet Jesus that our children are SO forgiving, that they don't hold it against us when we act like yelling idiots.  Thank you for do over's!!! :)